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Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Dream about Jolene

Today a month has passed since Jolene’s 24th birthday. I will blog about that tonight. This is a bonus blog.

I don’t often remember dreams. But last night, about 4 AM, I dreamed about Jolene. I remember only a very brief part of the dream. The woman was recognizable as my daughter. Her hair was cut in a dark, short bob, not the longer style she usually preferred, often unwashed. She seemed older, like she was in her 30s. I looked at her in surprise, but not the disbelief a real life encounter would trigger.

The older Jolene looked at me sheepishly. She looked like she wanted to say, “I’m sorry I caused you so much worry.”

Before we could embrace, or talk, or catch up, or—do anything—I woke up. The aftereffect of the dream lasted for a nanosecond. Jolene’s alive. Then the reality sank in. It was only a dream.

After that, I had trouble sleeping. But I accept the dream as a special gift from God, when I look back on the day that we should have celebrated Jolene’s birth. Jolene is alive, she is well, and she will always be a part of my life.


Mary Connealy said...

Don't you think that's the real message, Darlene?

Jolene's alive. Just not with you.

That you can hang on to.

Jan Parrish said...

She is alive, she is healthy and she is finally free! Cling to that and remember her in that picture of health.

Lynette Sowell said...

Oh, yes! As I read this post, I was thinking, "Oh! Of course she's alive." Blessed hope. It's just walking the path now. God has so much grace for that. Hugs, friend!!!