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Monday, June 2, 2008

Rewind

I promised I would write tonight. So I am trying to write something, anything, that won't sound like a bad copy of a tape you've heard before. It's not happening so far. I could write about the long lonely weekend hours, when my faithful readers spend the days away from their computers and my most heartfelt cries go unread. I could write about the sudden sharp pang of loss, of wishing I could spend even one more day with Jolene. I could write about the numerous mistakes I made at work last month, when I thought I was doing okay.

Why has today been so hard? I rested well. It's June. Almost three months have passed since Jolene's death. The sun shines and warmth at last seeps into my sore bones.

I'll hazard a guess. I have zeroed in on my finishing my second mystery, A String of Murders, in the weeks since Jolene's death. At last, for all intents and purposes, it's done. Maybe the need to finish the project kept me going. Perhaps now that it's finished, my mind and body are reminding me of the surgical removal of my daughter from my life.

Oh, Jolene, I miss you so.

5 comments:

Mary Connealy said...

I haven't been in all weekend. Maybe giving yourself the weekend off, or writing when you need to and knowing people will check in and read what they've missed will serve you well.

Darlene Franklin said...

I know. I'll go ahead and write on the weekend and post during the week. Maybe. :) Thanks for your faithfulness, Mary!

I'm on Spyglass Lane today, BTW.

Lynette Sowell said...

Darlene, I know when I turned in my book back in January, I was ready to sleep for a week. There's almost a sense of loss once we get to "the end" and send everything off to the editor. Add that to what you've been going through, and I expect what you feel is normal. I don't know if that's much of a comfort, but try to get some rest! Every part of you must be very tired.

Marcia Gruver said...

Hi, Darlene. I got your message over at Internal Monoblog. Yes! We're getting Sharen back. I'm so excited to see her again. I'm down in South Texas right now, but will be running into her again when I go home. She's a peach!

I hang out with some other people you know, too. I'm in a crit group with Lisa Ludwig, Janelle Mowery, and Sandra Robbins your fellow Spyglass Lane authors.

I feel your grief so much after reading your last post. Please know I'm praying for you.

Darlene Franklin said...

"Every part of you must be tired." That describes it well. I hope to make the final, final revisions (from the final read through by Mom and me) and send it off today. Yeah!