Lately I have been feeling that I don't WANT to live the rest of my life without Jolene.
In saying that, I don't mean that I'm suicidal. Depressed, probably, but in no way wanting to end it all.
Just a statement of pain. Of kicking and screaming that I don't want Jolene to be gone.
Perhaps that's why the following statement from A Grief Unveiled by Gregory Floyd resonates with me. Gregory lost his 5-year-old son John-Paul in a car accident.
"When I would think about living the rest of my life without John-Paul, of never seeing him again, the thought was unbearable. But when I would ask myself, 'Can you make it through just today without him? Can you make it from morning until evening?' I would think, 'Yes, I can.' One day at a time, I could handle. One day at a time was all there is grace for. I had hope for tomorrow, but grace only for today." (italics mine)
Amen! His words connected with a truth I learned a long time ago. When I couldn't expect a good day (24 hours) with Jolene because of her many problems, I looked for a good hour. Minutes, if necessary. God gave me grace moment by moment, day by day.
Grief will work the same way. I don't have to have grace today for my birthday in August. I only need grace to get through the evening and have a good night's rest. That's all I should petition God for.
One day at a time, I will make it.
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4 comments:
Grace sufficient for the day (or the task). God promises us that.
That reminds me of the hymn, Great is Thy Faithfulness... "strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow." It could also say, "grace for today" and still work. :)
Amen. Grace for the moment. Praying His grace will envelop you.
One day at a time. His grace is sufficient for each day. (((h))) Praying for you.
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