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Thursday, April 30, 2009

There's a Monster in my Computer

The Denver Nuggets accomplished something last night that they have failed to do since 1994. They made it past the first round of the playoffs.

If you've been reading my blog for awhile, you know I enjoy watching sports. But that's not the point of this post.

The Nuggets could have entered the seven-game series with a fearful attitude. They could have said, "We've lost the last five years. This year won't be any different." But they didn't. They went in with confidence, and won the series 4-1, posting 20+ point losses on the Hornets.

I need to be like the Nuggets.

I have the opportunity to submit a book proposal that will be decided by the time I move to Oklahoma. In other words--I could have that much-longed for contract that would allow me to write full time. No need to worry about a job.

I was discussing it with a writer friend. I told her about my hesitation. She said, "Oh, so you're afraid, just the rest of us."

Bingo. She put the problem into bald words and startled me. Frightened, because like the Nuggets 14-year playoff series drought, the editor has rejected at least ten previous proposals from me. What makes me think this time is any different? So rather than risk rejection, and the crushing disappointment that would come seeing my dream slip away from me at this time ... I'm tempted to not even try.

For shame.

So pray with me about facing the monster in my computer, that I will do my best work, that the editor will look on it with favor ... and that I will be at peace, whatever happens.

And share your own monster stories.


Tami said...

We'll be praying for you.
My own monster story is similar to yours. I want to start a writing career, but am too afraid to start. I keep using the excuse that I don't know where to begin, but in all honesty its fear that is paralyzing me.
I do have one example of overpowering the monster...actually I have four of them. International adoption is not for the faint of heart - thank goodness I didn't know that going in. Shad and I could have allowed ourselves to be too scared of navigating the international adoption waters (after all neither one of us had even been outside the country before) or we could have given in to our fears and insecurities about becoming parents...but where would that have left us? I'm so glad we didn't give in to those fears.
Now I just need to convince myself not to give in this time either.

Ruthie said...

Go for it! God is with you.
My prayers are too.