Right now I 'm so busy that Jolene's death has taken a back seat--at least on the surface.
But it hovers underneath everything I do. It only takes a word or a touch to bring back the pain. A couple of days ago Mom commented on my last blog with tears in her voice. I started crying as well. Life has moved on and we are facing a number of major hurdles, but …. Not a day goes by without thinking of my daughter, my heart aching with the loss.
I am reading the book Prayer by Philip Yancey. Today he talked about unanswered prayers and he specifically mentioned young adults who commit suicide. I took notice. I came away with the feeling that prayer will seldom change the situation--but it changes my response. I trust God more, blindly at times, but resting in His sovereign love.
May your unfailing love be my comfort according to your promise to your servant. Let your compassion come to me that I may live, for your law is my delight. (Psalm 119:76-77)
Comfort and compassion--just what I need. Amen, Lord!
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2 comments:
I think, Darlene, that this is just a new part of the fabric of which you are made.
May God continue to comfort you as you grieve and heal. Remember that you daughter loves you. I'm certain she is sending you kisses from heaven! Alice
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