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Wednesday, March 11, 2009


I'm writing my Thursday blog early. These days I stay busy packing. I've made it through the kitchen and dining areas. Today I tackled the boxes underneath our "deacon's bench."

One of the boxes was stuffed with Jolene's artwork. What can I say about the cascade of emotions, seeing her talent for design, her eye for color, her affirmations of faith, her childlike enjoyment of cartoons ...

I thought I would get through the box relatively unscathed until I reached the last piece of paper jammed in the back, the top of the too-tall sheet curled to fit into the space.

A mother looks tenderly at a girl, their silhouettes cut from a Lifeway shopping bag and glued onto a larger piece of paper.

Titled simply "Emahay 2006" in my handwriting. The sole example of my artwork in the bag. A simple gift to the daughter that I loved.

"Emahay." (pronounced "eee-mah-hay") I love you.

"Emahayati" (pronounced "eee-mah-hay-ah-tee") I love you too.

Our own private love language, the two words that survived from Jolene's private childhood language.

I cried. I could cry all day. Friday is the anniversary of Jolene's death. I hope to write a thoughtful perspective on Monday.

But today I simply grieve. Jolene, if you can hear me, emahay.

The Lord's voice comes back. Emahayati.


Susan Page Davis said...

Love you, Darlene! May this week be full of encouraging times for you.

CHickey said...

My heart wept at reading your blog. If only your readers could shoulder some of your pain. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Candice Speare said...

Darlene, I can only imagine how this feels. Although I haven't experienced a death of a loved one, I have experienced the death of a marriage. And sometimes I come across things like you did. Things that remind me of the past and the hope I once had. And there's nothing to do but cry.

Susan said...

Dear, precious Darlene,

I pray that the sweet, happy memories of your daughter and the love you shared will far outweigh the pain of loss you will naturally feel at this sad anniversary. From one mother's heart to another.



Mary Connealy said...

Darlene, I'll be praying extra hard for you this week.
God bless you.

Ruthie said...

Oh Darlene, I feel so badly for you. It is so hard right now - but you are getting through it with God's help!
Just hold on to Him on Friday - and know that your dear one is in God's arms.

I pray this move will be a good one for you - a new beginning and one that you can enjoy with your little grandbaby.



Lisa Harris said...

Praying for you this week as you remember and grieve. Praying as well that your move will be a new beginning, not ever to forget, but for the chance of renewal and healing.

Lynette Sowell said...

You've been in my prayers this week, Darlene... It's time for prayers, tears, remembering, and letting God tell you He loves you.

Paula said...

Sweet Darlene,
I have no words except that I care and I'm praying. He is holding tight to you. He's not going anywhere.

Janice Thompson said...

Gosh, that sent a chill right down my spine. Honey, my heart is broken for you. I'm praying and I love you. Feel God's blanket of love wrapped around you just how much you are love - by Him and by all of us.