This morning I got THE call. Someone from the hospital called to say "you'd better get here as soon as you can."
"You mean she's ..."
"We know she's DNR and we're keeping her as comfortable as we can. It's the rush hour. Take a deep breath, drive safe. She's not alone."
I jumped into my clothes and drove sedately through two school zones to reach the hospital. I couldn't help thinking about last Monday's blog, how I said I felt it was time, and then how all week her vital signs have been stable and she seemed to be getting stronger ... Yesterday she was hallucinating (barbecuing fish inside an animal's stomach?)and in a great deal of pain from a kidney infection.
The nurse said she suffered a heart attack. She lay on the bed, raspy, difficult breathing. I held her hand. "I love you, Mama." And I sang to her, songs from our old CMA days, Fanny Crosby songs. Songs of my childhood.
A friend from church came in, and then the pastor. Mom's breathing slowed even further and her pulse dropped further. I began singing again: Amazing Grace. Oh, How I Love Jesus. Oh, How He Loves You and Me. As I finished singing, Pastor Jason touched my arm and pointed me to the monitor showing all heart activity had stopped. He said, "You sang her home." Her homegoing was very peaceful.
Jaran arrived moments later.
We don't have any details yet as far as services.
Thank you all for praying with us through this difficult time. I am numb but at peace with the way everything happened.
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7 comments:
Praying for you as I write.
I'm so sorry, Darlene.
Darlene, I'm sorry for the hurt you must be feeling. I read your post on Facebook and then stopped by your blog to read more about your mom.
Two weeks ago, I wrote on my blog about my mother's passing. Like you, I held her hand as she went to be with the Lord; she was 77 years old.
I will remember you in my prayers.
(BTW, we are both Barbour authors. I wrote four of the Camp Club Girls pre-teen novels.)
We have lost a faithful friend.Years ago, when my mother died, your mom consoled me with the idea that my mom had at last received perfect healing. I’ve treasured that concept for all these years and offer it to you with love. We are happy for you that you were able to sing her home.
Charlotte Henderson
Steve Lear
Craig Lear
Dave Lear
Sweet Friend,
What a beautiful picture of passage you have given us. You were the mid-wife, helping birth her to new life. How very, very precious.
May God strengthen and comfort you. You have my thought and prayers.
I'm so sorry for your loss, but so glad you were able to be there as she went home. What a beautiful picture of her homecoming...her earthly daughter holding her hand and singing to her as she met her Heavenly Father face-to-face for the first time.
You're in my prayers. How beautiful that you were able to sing her home.
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