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Thursday, February 5, 2009

Holding On

The bell has rung. Mom has pretty much decided to go from rehab to assisted living, at the urging of doctors and other professionals. (She fell down again yesterday morning.)

That decision precipitates an avalanche of other problems. Where should she go? What can she afford? Where do I go? Because I can't afford our three-bedroom apartment by myself. How can I possibly sort through our very cluttered five rooms in the length of time I have to move? Before Mom has to move?

In the midst of the questions, God has given me two great daily verses. One is from The Message: "I call out to High God, the God who holds me together. He sends orders from heaven and saves me, he humiliates those who kick me around. God delivers generous love, he makes good on his word." (Psalm 57:2-3). (I confess I thought of the disappointment of the book club closing when I first read this verse. Barbour is doing anything BUT kicking us authors around. They are being more than generous. But I still feel kicked. If that makes sense. The disappointment, not people nor the way they've handled it.) But it works just as well for the way life has been kicking me around.

And this next verse is a promise that looks to the other side. "May the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you." (1 Peter 5:10 NKJV) Settle, now there's a word I can cling to.

A part of me complains that I just killed myself meeting the February 1st deadline, and why another massive time-crunch on top of that deadline? Another part of me thanks God for sparing me the moving emergency until I had the deadline behind me. That doesn't improve my exhaustion of spirit, mind and body.

I am still leaving tomorrow to spend the weekend in Oklahoma. Pray for a good visit and refreshment of body and spirit.

1 comment:

Ruthie said...

You have a wonderful time with your son and family! Maybe they can help you sort through what is the best to do for the living plans for you and your mom. Other than that, while you are there just enjoy that new grandbaby and forget about deadlines and any other problems.