Empty Nest

On Friday, Mom made it to Oklahoma safely. She's exhausted but settling in fairly well.

Me? I feel lonely and haven't accomplished as much as I had hoped.

Back in 2002, Jolene graduated from high school and moved into a group home. I had an "empty nest" in the sense that Jolene wasn't with me 24/7. . .but we still spent every weekend together. Less than a year later, Mom moved out to live with me. For most of the last six years, my life has been full with mother and daughter. And I am ever so thankful that Mom still lives and breathes. . .if only at a distance.

Now I'm alone. No daughter to come visit me. No mother to visit in the rehab center. No funds to make a trip to Oklahoma until I move. The anniversary--one year--looms, as well as Easter and Mother's Day. Our church is holding a ladies' brunch in March. I don't know if I'm brave enough to go, where the presence of all those other mothers and daughters will only accentuate my aloneness.

Okay, for all your spiritual types out there, I am very aware that God is with me. All the time. And without him, I don't know how I would cope.

And I realized that the absence of family in the area makes me that unmarried person Paul talks about, one free to devote herself to the Lord. I made it to Sunday school for the first time since before my surgery. I look forward to choir and writers group. I need the Christian community, now more than ever.

In the meantime, I have an apartment to sort and pack. Extra hours to work, to make up some of the lack between my income and the doubled expenses.

Thanks to all of you for being my friends.

Mom's back

Mom is home,safe,sound,relaxed. It's good to have her back.

How did I handle four days of "empty nest"?

I slept well and relaxed and allowed myself some freedom in my normal writing routines. (I think that was as much to avoid the next project as to take a break.)

All without my normal writing buddies, who were on trips or otherwise unavailable. No umbilical phone cords.

I thought about Jolene on the drive home tonight and tried to remember if I had thought of her throughout the day. Not a great deal. Which partly makes me feel guilty, and part of me is thankful that it no longer overwhelms me 24/7. At least not every day.